I’ve always been fascinated by the idea of fame. I love documentaries that go behind-the-scenes of a TV show, a film, a music video or someone in the spotlight’s life.

When I was younger, I would re-enact my favorite scenes or rewrite episodes to my favorite shows, turn my bunk bed into a “tour bus” and was constantly putting on concerts to LeAnn Rimes and Britney Spears. On Sunday nights, when my parents and I would go to our family friends’ house, my friend and I would tape the lyrics of songs to her mini blinds and practice choreography for hours before giving the final performance before my parents told me it was time to go home.

When I discovered drama and acting at 10-years-old, I was determined to become a Disney Channel star or try out for American Idol. I entered every talent show, every play, went to drama on Wednesday nights at church, I became a puppeteer (yes, that was a thing). In jr. hi, I was on the worship team. In high school, I did the talent shows, the worship team, the spring musicals and all the things in between that I could. I saw my “heroes” like Miley Cyrus, Hilary Duff, Britney Spears and all these other teen idols I’d grown up with and wanted all of that. Everyone knew their name and cared about what they were doing, what they had to say.

I had dreams of standing on the stage and accepting the Best Actress Award at the Oscars or confetti falling as they announced my name for the American Idol finale.

I think, as a society, we’ve been enamored with fame, for quite some time. We all want to be seen and known…But, at what cost?

Late nights at the Chateau Marmont after an award show.

Paparazzi following you down the street as cameras flash, waiting to see what your next move will be, as you slide into the car awaiting to take you to your next destination.

Fans and photographers alike screaming your name, just hoping that you’ll glance in their direction on the red carpets.

A stint at rehab because you’ve fallen into the ways of addiction and partying.

Countless headlines and clickbait articles with a timeline of your career, your love life and why you’re no longer the ‘It Guy’ or ‘It Gal.’

A trip to the Brentwood Country Mart to pick up last minute things for that dinner party you’re throwing for friends and everyone wants to see which brands you’re purchasing.

An Instagram shot of the LA skyline from your view at home in the Hollywood Hills.

These are just a few of the snapshots of fame that we, as a society, have become familiar with. We are a culture that is obsessed with celebrity and fame. We’ve always been this way.

Think back to the days of Marilyn Monroe and Judy Garland.

As many of our favorite songs and movies break down for us, we build up the monument of celebrity in a person, just to break them into pieces and watch as they try to rebuild their lives.

We’ve followed the stories of the ladies in the 2000s, like Paris Hilton, Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan as they stumbled out of the clubs and into the same car, wearing sunglasses to cover the dark circles and tired eyes, or shielding from the flashes of the paparazzi’s captures.

Now with the rise of TikTokkers, YouTubers and other Instagram influencers, we’ve entered a new era of what it means to be famous, carry the title of celebrity and have an influential voice that people listen to and want to know more about.

What is fame?

Fame is the state of being known or talked about by many people, especially on account of notable achievements.

They say there are four stages of fame: Loving/hating fame, addiction, acceptance and adaptation (positive and negative).

And it’s a vicious cycle. It’s not for everyone. These stories have proven that to us.

Very few are able to have normal lives and get out unscathed. That’s the harsh reality.

Romanticizing the fallen star

Why do we glamorize or romanticize the fallen star?

Yes, we mourn them. Think of tragic outcomes like Whitney Houston, Michael Jackson, Princess Diana, Matthew Perry and so many others.

We see the stories and narratives of the ones who have lost themselves to their celebrity identity. They’ve chased money, power, recognition, addiction, love…Hoping to find themselves. Hoping to find something more. Only to end in tragedy, most likely not having found the peace they so desperately craved.

We’ve seen it depicted time and time again in films, books, television. Inception of art within art, pulling the curtain back on what really happens behind-the-scenes.

However, maybe we should start seeing it more as a warning signal than a glamorization of this outcome

So, here’s a curriculum of studying the star mentality - The glitz and glamour, as well as the dark parts. The themes of wanting to feel accepted, they want a place to belong. And sometimes in doing that, they pay a price in an amount they can’t get back. Not in cash or emotionally.

Playlist

Books

Behind-the-Scenes style/Memoir/Biography{non-fiction}

• Friends, Lovers and the Big Terrible Thing by Matthew Perry

• Talking as Fast as I Can: From Gilmore Girls to Gilmore Girls, and Everything in Between by Lauren Graham

• I’m Glad My Mother Died by Jennette McCurdy

• The Office BFFs by Angela Kinsey and Jenna Fischer

• The Actor’s Life: A Survival Guide by Jenna Fischer

• The Big Bang Theory: The Definitive, Inside Story of the Epic Hit Series by Jessica Radloff

• Dinner for Vampires by Bethany Joy Lenz

• Wildflower by Drew Barrymore

• Stories I Only Tell My Friends by Rob Lowe

• Love Life by Rob Lowe

• Let’s Just Say It Wasn’t Pretty by Diane Keaton

• The Rural Diaries by Hilarie Burton Morgan

• Unqualified by Anna Faris

• Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And other concerns) by Mindy Kaling

• Whiskey in a Cup by Reese Witherspoon

• Find Your Path by Carrie Underwood

• Open Book by Jessica Simpson

• Why Not Me? by Mindy Kaling

• Yes, Please by Amy Poehler

• Year of Yes by Shonda Rhimes

• The Third Gilmore Girl by Kelly Bishop

• Cher: The Memoir, Part One by Cher

• From Here to the Great Unknown by Lisa Marie Presley and Riley Keough

• The Woman in Me by Britney Spears

• Storyline: Finding Gold in Your Life by Jen Grisanti

• The Sitcom Career Book by Mary Lou Belli & Phil Ramuna

• The Gilmore Girls Companion by A.S. Berman

• Inside Bridgerton by Shonda Rhimes and Betsy Beers

• Brooke Shields is Not Allowed to Get Old: Thoughts on Aging as a Woman by Brooke Shields

Fiction

• The Reunion by Kayla Olson

• Someday, Someday, Maybe by Lauren Graham

• Daisy Jones and the Six by Taylor Jenkins Reid

• The Bodyguard by Katherine Center

• Secrets of My Hollywood Life (Series) by Jen Calonita

• Teen Idol by Meg Cabot

• L.A. Candy by Lauren Conrad

• True Confessions of a Hollywood Starlet

• When in Rome by Sarah Adams

• The Rom-Commers by Katherine Center

• Right on Cue by Falon Ballard

• The Last Phone Booth in Manhattan by Beth Merlin and Daniella Modafferi

• How to Fake it in Hollywood by Ava Wilder

Shows

Drama/Comedy

• Nashville

• Daisy Jones & The Six

• Girls5Eva

• 30 Rock

• The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel

• The Morning Show

Reality

• Claim to Fame (ABC)

• American Idol (ABC)

• The Kardashians (Hulu)

• Masterclass: Shonda Rhimes Teaches Television

• The Voice

• America’s Next Top Model

• Selling Sunset

• Dancing with the Stars

• The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Movies & Specials

• A Star is Born (all versions, but especially the one with Bradley Cooper and Lady Gaga)

• Walk the Line

• Country Strong

• Pure Country

• La La Land

• Freakier Friday

• Jennifer Lopez’s Halftime

• Miss Americana Documentary

• Taylor Swift: The Eras Tour (concert)

• Pamela, A Love Story

• Gaga: Five Foot Two

• Selena Gomez: My Mind and Me

• Framing Britney Spears

• Elvis

• Priscilla

• Bohemian Rhapsody

• Brats

• Pretty Baby: Brooke Shields

• Whitney

• Unzipped documentary

• The Bodyguard

• Roman Holiday

• Almost Famous

• That Thing You Do

• Simone Biles: Rising

• Martha

• I Am: Celine Dion

• Elizabeth Taylor: The Lost Tapes

• The Greatest Night in Pop

• *NSYNC Making the Tour

• Hilary Duff Making of the Girl Can Rock Tour

• Britney Spears - Good Morning America behind ABC Special ‘03

• Britney Spears - Disney In Concert Special (1999)

• Britney Spears - Live in Hawaii

• Britney Spears & E! Present: I Am Britney Jean

• Miley and Mandy YouTube

• Hannah Montana Backstage Secrets - Part One, Part Two, Part Three

• At Home with Hilary Duff

Interviews

• Taylor Swift Opens Up About Struggles with Fame

• THROWBACK: Taylor Swift thinks ‘fame is weird’

• Taylor Swift struggles with fame: ‘I can’t be ungrateful, because I chose this’

• Unveiling Marilyn Monroe’s Vulnerable Side: The Last Interview / Marilyn In Her Own (Last) Words

• An Unmissable 1987 Interview with Elizabeth Taylor

• Elizabeth Taylor gets candid in newly released interview

• Selena Gomez is in Rare Form

• Justin Timberlake on the Challenges of Young Fame

• Justin Timberlake Can’t Stop the Feeling: On Fatherhood, His Uncertain Future and Being Best Friends with Jimmy Fallon

This is a subject I’ve always been fascinated by. I could add more material, but this gives a solid start.

As I’ve gotten older and read the memoirs, watched the specials and seen the downfalls of these celebrities we think have it all, I’ve started to understand the human side. They really are just like us. Sure, they might have more money, but with that comes more responsibility and more power and more problems.

It makes me grateful that my Disney star dreams didn’t work out like I used to pray for. I’ll admire the art from afar.

Is there anything about the entertainment industry that has pulled you in?

Any standout movies or songs that give you that “peel back the curtain” vibe on the lifestyle?